I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers
Thank God were living in a country where the skys the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. – Joan Rivers
I enjoy life when things are happening. I dont care if its good things or bad things. That means youre alive. – Joan Rivers
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if youre funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. – Joan Rivers
And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values, like you work hard for what you want in life. That your word is your bond that you do what you say youre going to do. That you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you dont know them and even if you dont agree with them. – Michelle Obama