Logo
Quote by Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put th

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright

Category:
Perspective
Author
Steven Wright
Read Quote

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and Im gone. – Steven Wright

Category:
car
Author
Steven Wright
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, Im grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year olds birthday party, you couldnt pay me enough. – Johnny Vegas

Category:
Birthday

Some people wont go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter. – Anne Lamott

Category:
Birthday

I do like to shock and surprise people. When its all in good fun, of course. – Ruth Warrick

Category:
Birthday

For the youth, the indignation of most things will just surge as each birthday passes. – Chris Evans

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

There are three kinds of death in this world. Theres heart death, theres brain death, and theres being off the network. – Guy Almes

Category:
Death

You must learn day by day, year by year to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. – Ethel Barrymore

Category:
Wisdom

The United States brags about its political system, but the President says one thing during the election, something else when he takes office, something else at midterm and something else when he leaves. – Deng Xiaoping

Category:
Politics

I just believe that the feeling of wonder is amazing. I am pushing myself as far as I can humanly push myself… I can only hope for the best and expect the worse. – David Blaine

Category:
amazing