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Quote by Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put th

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright

Category:
Twins
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

Im trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably wont be out until next year. I dont know. – Marian McPartland

Category:
Birthday

My first recognition of age setting in was exactly on my 36th birthday. I have no idea why, on this day of all days, I looked in the mirror and realized my face no longer looked young. – Paulina Porizkova

Category:
Birthday

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, Im grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year olds birthday party, you couldnt pay me enough. – Johnny Vegas

Category:
Birthday

I hate birthdays. I hate birthday parties. I hate them. I dont know what it is, anybodys only got to come wafting near me with a piece of cake with a candle on and I break out in hives. – Cat Deeley

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor. – Soren Kierkegaard

Category:
teacher

Courage consists not in hazarding without fear but being resolutely minded in a just cause. – Plutarch

Category:
Courage

Watch the History Channel if you want it literal and historically perfect. – Emily Blunt

Category:
History

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. – George Burns

Category:
Age