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Quote by Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put th

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. – Steven Wright

Category:
legal
Author
Steven Wright
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I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright

Category:
Perspective
Author
Steven Wright
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I said, Im going to buy some sugar. – Steven Wright

Category:
Money
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children. – Diane von Furstenberg

Category:
Birthday

I tried to bake a cake for my mothers birthday – it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days. – Rachael Ray

Category:
Birthday

I did a cake for the 60th birthday of Elton John, for Britney Spears 27th birthday and for the Circus album she put out – the cake had circus themes. I prepared a cake for a surprise 82nd birthday event for the architect Frank Gehry the cake was comprised of mini-replicas of his buildings. – Ron Ben-Israel

Category:
Birthday

I lost twins at 14 weeks, and I had to have an D and C on my birthday. – Amy Weber

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

The best time to plan a book is while youre doing the dishes. – Agatha Christie

Category:
best

Getting the government to put money into social programs run by religious institutions is a practice that started during the Clinton years, when Bill Clinton advocated the AmeriCorps program. – Tony Campolo

Category:
Government

The question before the human race is, whether the God of nature shall govern the world by his own laws, or whether priests and kings shall rule it by fictitious miracles? – John Adams, letter to Thomas Jefferson, 1815 June 20th

Category:
Religion

Quality in a classical Greek sense is how to live with grace and intelligence, with bravery and mercy. – Theodore White

Category:
Intelligence