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Quote by Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put th

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. Its in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright

Category:
pet
Author
Steven Wright
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday. – Steven Wright

Category:
Birthday
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I was fired by Americas Next Top Model on my birthday. – Paulina Porizkova

Category:
Birthday

You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope

Category:
Birthday

My mom wont let me buy high-fashion stuff unless its TK Maxx or a birthday occasion. – Chloe Moretz

Category:
Birthday

My mom FedExes a red velvet cake she makes from scratch to me every birthday. – Molly Sims

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

I am so sick of reading about another car bomb, another suicide bomber, another 10, 20, 30, 70, 100 people dead in a day, both Americans and Iraqis. – Rosanne Cash

Category:
car

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. – George Carlin

Category:
work

Pain is weakness leaving the body. – Anonymous

Category:
Running

Mankind is like dogs, not gods – as long as you dont get mad theyll bite you – but stay mad and youll never be bitten. Dogs dont respect humility and sorrow. – Jack Kerouac

Category:
respect