Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. – Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If thats what youre looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your childs name and how old he or she is. – Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one Im taking with me when I go. – Erma Bombeck