Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable. – A.P. Herbert, Misleading Cases, 1935

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists. – Heywood Hale Broun