Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed. – Mark Twain
I didnt attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. – Mark Twain
It is in the heart that the values lie. I wish I could make him understand that a loving heart is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty. – Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. – Mark Twain