My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. – Mitch Hedberg
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. – Mitch Hedberg
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. – Mitch Hedberg
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? – Mitch Hedberg
