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Quote by Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mit

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg

Other quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Time
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I dont have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman whod be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
dating
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, Youre gonna have to move, youre blocking a fire exit. As though if there was a fire, I wasnt gonna run. If youre flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
Business
Author
Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. Im a black actor, so I cant really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great. – Jamie Foxx

Category:
funny

I want to be in Funny Girl. And I want Ryan Murphy to direct it. – Lea Michele

Category:
funny

I joke around a lot about the manic times because theyre funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. – Patty Duke

Category:
funny

Back in the 70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was The Bad News Bears, and that was a kids movie, but I dont think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. – Jack Black

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness. – Immanuel Kant

Category:
Happiness

The 17 Day Diet keeps your body and metabolism guessing. I call this body confusion. – Mike Moreno

Category:
diet

Long before we saw the sea, its spray was on our lips, and showered salt rain upon us. – Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

Category:
Water

To reduce the imagination to a state of slavery –even though it would mean the elimination of what is commonly called happiness –is to betray all sense of absolute justice within oneself. Imagination alone offers me some intimation of what can be. – Andre Breton

Category:
Imagination