What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organise everything for me. I dont want to do things on the Internet. – Jenny Eclair
I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. Im quite camp in that respect. – Jenny Eclair
I was trained as an actress. But I wasnt a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up. – Jenny Eclair
I dont do marriage. I think its incredibly naff. And I dont like vulgar displays of ostentation. – Jenny Eclair
Well, Im not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast. – Jenny Eclair
I cant watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. Thats my job. – Jenny Eclair
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didnt know that funny women existed. It wasnt until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny. – Jenny Eclair
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. Its because Im freelance, and Ive never had a proper job. I dont have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me. – Jenny Eclair
Im very jealous of my daughters education. Shes been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager. – Jenny Eclair
I think I might actually die of showing off. Itll be on my headstone – Cause of Death: Showing Off. – Jenny Eclair
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dads Army shirts, accessorised by a cats basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga. – Jenny Eclair
Ive just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didnt get his good, thick hair. I got my mothers thin, wispy, non-event hair instead. – Jenny Eclair
