Quotes by

Graham Norton

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, You do realise this is a gay club, dont you lads? you get all excited because you think, Wow, he thought I was straight! – Graham Norton

I always say Id rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. – Graham Norton

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. Im relatively available, but not to live with. – Graham Norton

Straight men just cant imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. – Graham Norton

The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so its a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. – Graham Norton

Im often dating people, but I dont say it because you sort of know it wont last long. – Graham Norton

Its amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isnt it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. Its a sort of terrible gift, isnt it? – Graham Norton

My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. – Graham Norton

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. – Graham Norton