Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. – Bill Cosby
My eleven-year-old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. – Bill Cosby
The serve was invented so that the net could play. – Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. – Bill Cosby
Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in quiet. – Bill Cosby
What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. – Bill Cosby
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. – Bill Cosby
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. – Bill Cosby
A word to the wise ain’t necessary — it’s the stupid ones who need the advice. – Bill Cosby
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. – Bill Cosby
People will frighten you about a graduation…. They use words you don’t hear often: “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. – Bill Cosby
