The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. – Johnny Carson
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. – Johnny Carson
Never continue in a job you dont enjoy. If youre happy in what youre doing, youll like yourself, youll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. – Johnny Carson
If it werent for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, wed still be eating frozen radio dinners. – Johnny Carson