For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. – Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. – Johnny Carson
Access to books and the encouragement of the habit of reading: these two things are the first and most necessary steps in education and librarians, teachers and parents all over the country know it. It is our childrens right and it is also our best hope and their best hope for the future. – Michael Morpurgo