For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. – Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. – Johnny Carson
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. – Johnny Carson
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson