A woman tells her doctor, Ive got a bad back. The doctor says, Its old age. The woman says, I want a second opinion. The doctor says: Okay – youre ugly as well. – Tommy Cooper
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you give me a lift? I said Sure, you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it. – Tommy Cooper
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine.” – Tommy Cooper
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet – it was a marriage of convenience! – Tommy Cooper
Photography suits the temper of this age – of active bodies and minds. It is a perfect medium for one whose mind is teeming with ideas, imagery, for a prolific worker who would be slowed down by painting or sculpting, for one who sees quickly and acts decisively, accurately. – Edward Weston
Im from a small town so, like, everyones married with children or about to have children. So its a little hard when you go home and people are like – and thats why people think Im gay – because theyre like Why arent you married? And Im like, it doesnt happen for everyone right off the bat. – Kelly Clarkson