So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you give me a lift? I said Sure, you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it. – Tommy Cooper
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet – it was a marriage of convenience! – Tommy Cooper
A woman tells her doctor, Ive got a bad back. The doctor says, Its old age. The woman says, I want a second opinion. The doctor says: Okay – youre ugly as well. – Tommy Cooper
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine.” – Tommy Cooper
We have no reason to think that climate change is harmful if you look at the world as a whole. Most places, in fact, are better off being warmer than being colder. And historically, the really bad times for the environment and for people have been the cold periods rather than the warm periods. – Freeman Dyson