The great war of 1870 was not between the Germans and the French, but between beer and red wine. When the wine-flask came in contact with the beer-barrel, it was natural for the glass to be shattered. – Arthur Handly Marks, “Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer” (Berlin, 1887 June 14th

This is no mere beverage, this glass of beer…. It is the grains of the earth growing in the ground under the blazing sun and the night mists of the plains girdling the planet, and of barley seed grown rich and golden. – Frederic A. Birmingham

To prevent beer from being turned by thunder.— Having ascertained that it is perfectly good, draw off entirely in pint pots; then having collected an equal number of railway navigators, distribute accordingly. This will answer in the hottest summer. – “Advice Gratis,” The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 187