The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. – Phyllis Diller Category: funny
When youre out of sight for as long as I was, theres a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again. – Esther Williams Category: funny
When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasnt about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. – Paul Merton Category: funny
Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. – Paula Poundstone Category: funny
I think a dad has to make his daughter feel that hes genuinely interested in what shes going through. – Harry Connick, Jr. Category: dad
I was captain and should have set the example. I would lift a minimum of weights. Mine was natural physical strength. I always thought quickness and agility were much more important. – Merlin Olsen Category: strength
But his kiss was so sweet, and so closely he pressed, that I languished and pined till I granted the rest. – John Gay Category: Love :: Kisses
