Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. – George Lopez
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity. – Albert Einstein
The audience changes every night. Youre the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. – Joe Rogan
Humor is something that thrives between mans aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. – Victor Borge