When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. – Josh Billings
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. – Josh Billings
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it aint gout. – Josh Billings
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. – Josh Billings
When you go off in the world and make your life, and you come back to your home town, and you find your old high-school friends driving in the same circles, doing the same things, thats what Hollywoods like. Its a little block, little town. It doesnt really grow or change. – Robert Rodriguez