This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. – Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. – Rodney Dangerfield
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. – Rodney Dangerfield
Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
I dont mind traveling that much when I can go somewhere and stay there for a while, but touring is different. You rarely see anything. You get there early in the morning and youre resting all day, and you go in and do a sound check, and you do the show, and then bam youre gone. – George Strait