I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. – Jay London
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. – Jay London
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? – Jay London
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. – Jay London
I saw the president make the tough calls in the Situation Room – and today, our troops in Iraq have finally come home so America can do some nation building here at home. That was the change that we believed in. That was the change we fought for. That was the change President Obama delivered. – Rahm Emanuel