I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. – Jay London
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? – Jay London
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. – Jay London
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight Im watching the highlights. – Jay London
I spend plenty of time in London and it doesnt scare me, but its a lonely place, even if youve got friends there. My job takes me all around the world, meeting lots of interesting people. But I think if I couldnt get home, if I couldnt get back to what I consider my real life Id be frightened. – Shirley Henderson