What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey
Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. – Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. K
I respect people who can do both careers, like Will Smith and a couple of other people who have done it, but I just dont know when they sleep. – Val Kilmer
History knows that it can wait for more evidence and review its older verdicts; it offers an endless series of courts of appeal, and is ever ready to reopen closed cases. – William Stubbs