I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom. – John Barrymore
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. – John Barrymore
If it isnt the sheriff, its the finance company Ive got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. – John Barrymore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. – John Barrymore
Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. “Do you believe there is a devil?” asked one. “No,” said the other promptly. “It’s like Santa Claus: it’s your father.” – Nebelspalter (Zurich, Switzerland), quoted in The Literary Digest, Vol.106, 1930