Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. – Ambrose Bierce
Prescription: A physicians guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient. – Ambrose Bierce
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. – Ambrose Bierce
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. – Ambrose Bierce