No, my friend, I am not drunk. It is that I have been to the dentist and I need not go again for six months. It is a beautiful thought. – Agatha Christie, The Patriotic Murders (Hercule Poirot)
There are two things in life that a sage must preserve at every sacrifice, the coats of his stomach and the enamel of his teeth. Some evils admit of consolations, but there are no comforters for dyspepsia and the toothache. – Henry Lytton Bulwer