If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. – Josh Billings
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time. – Josh Billings
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. – Josh Billings
Dont mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs. – Josh Billings
What it comes down to is this: the grocer, the butcher, the baker, the merchant, the landlord, the druggist, the liquor dealer, the policeman, the doctor, the city father and the politician — these are the people who make money out of prostitution, these are the real reapers of the wages of sin. – Polly Adler