If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. – Josh Billings
Dont take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. – Josh Billings
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. – Josh Billings
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. – Josh Billings
The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four. Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye. – Winston Churchill