The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and hes still as funny as hes ever been, and hes still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, Ill still be able to work. – Denis Leary

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy hes always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes hes important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill OReilly, except shorter and Jewish. – Denis Leary

You cant teach somebody how to be funny. Youre either funny, or you aint. – Denis Leary