Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. – Ambrose Bierce
Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. – Ambrose Bierce
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. – Ambrose Bierce
Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. – Ambrose Bierce
Football is my profession now. Im getting married in August… Its a new experience for me as someone just getting out of college. I still have the same attitude about football I always had. I play hard. I enjoy practice. Id rather be throwing in passing drills than sitting around and watching TV. – Doug Flutie