I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. – Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. – Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he cant. – Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. – Rodney Dangerfield