Politics is just show business for ugly people. – Jay Leno
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasnt for any religious reasons. They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin. – Jay Leno
Today is Valentines Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! – Jay Leno
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said thats why they never hit any home runs. Its a safety issue. – Jay Leno