Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. – Ambrose Bierce
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. – Ambrose Bierce

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. – Ambrose Bierce
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. – Ambrose Bierce
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worlds worship. – Ambrose Bierce
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. – Ambrose Bierce
There was George, throwing away in hideous sloth the inestimable gift of time; his valuable life, every second of which he would have to account for hereafter, passing away from him, unused…. sprawling there, sunk in soul-clogging oblivion. – Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889