An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. – Ambrose Bierce
Physician — One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. – Ambrose Bierce

An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. – Ambrose Bierce
Physician — One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. – Ambrose Bierce
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. – Ambrose Bierce
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. – Ambrose Bierce