I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out. – Margaret Cho
Try to put your happiness before anyone elses, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself. – Margaret Cho
Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible. – Margaret Cho
Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again. – Margaret Cho
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that its not jokes that are funny, its characters that are funny. And isnt that true! Thats why I always kill jokes. Im terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I cant get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. – David Mitchell