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We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to t

We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast. – Logan P. Smith

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funny
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy hes always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes hes important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill OReilly, except shorter and Jewish. – Denis Leary

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When I go to a bar, I dont go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. – David Brenner

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funny

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. – Lewis Black

Category:
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I dont really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric… Im not operating on somebodys brain, you know what I mean? So I just think its all funny. – Harry Connick, Jr.

Category:
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Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. – George Carlin

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Nil By Mouth was a bit autobiographical, but as I always pointed out at the time, thats not my dad. – Gary Oldman

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Poetry is the utterance of deep and heart-felt truth – the true poet is very near the oracle. – Edwin Hubbel Chapin

Category:
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Yet America is a poem in our eyes; its ample geography dazzles the imagination, and it will not wait long for metres. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The Poet," Essays, Second Series, 1844

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