The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. – Josh Billings
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. – Josh Billings
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. – Josh Billings
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. – Josh Billings