You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it. – Robert Benchley
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another. – Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldnt give it up because by that time I was too famous. – Robert Benchley
A retired teacher paid $62,000 towards her pension and nothing, yes nothing, for full family medical, dental and vision coverage over her entire career. What will we pay her? $1.4 million in pension benefits and another $215,000 in health care benefit premiums over her lifetime. – Chris Christie