Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. – Billy Connolly
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. – Billy Connolly
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. – Billy Connolly
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, dont sit in the dark hiding. Its easy to hide and shout and waste peoples time. – Billy Connolly
Marriage is all about knowing the ins and outs and the intimate details, and your wife is supposed to be the person you know best. But my brother and I think alike, know everything about one another, and when we get together, we block everything else out. Nothing exists in our world except for us. – Jon Heder
Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized Id left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice – Hey, man, Im Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this? The guard waved me through. – Nancy Cartwright