I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. – Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. – Johnny Carson
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. – Johnny Carson