Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last nights Democratic debate. – Jay Leno
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced theyre getting back together. You know what that means? Theres still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. – Jay Leno
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasnt for any religious reasons. They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin. – Jay Leno
I want the government to provide the military so we dont get invaded by somebody and destroyed. I want the government to provide the roads so I can get from point A to B. In terms of taking care of my day to day needs, I want to do that myself. I want my community to do that. – Benjamin Carson