Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last nights Democratic debate. – Jay Leno
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow Operation Re-elect Bush doesnt seem to be popular. – Jay Leno
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said thats why they never hit any home runs. Its a safety issue. – Jay Leno
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. – Jay Leno
The United States established itself as a trustworthy new nation in its first two decades after the Revolutionary War by paying its debts, even when many in the country believed it had no obligation to do so. Alexander Hamilton, the founder of this newspaper, insisted on it. – John Podhoretz