The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. – Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. – Jon Stewart
The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, theyre going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him. – Jon Stewart
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. – Jon Stewart