Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table. – Ambrose Bierce
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. – Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills. – Ambrose Bierce
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt. – Ambrose Bierce
Certain peer pressures encourage little fingers to learn how to hold a football instead of a crayon. Rumors circulate around the schoolyard: kids who draw or wear white socks and bring violins to school on Wednesdays might have cooties. I confess to having yielded to these pressures. – Chris Van Allsburg