Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. – Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. – Ambrose Bierce
Irreligion – the principal one of the great faiths of the world. – Ambrose Bierce
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due. – Ambrose Bierce