Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. Its unbridled, its unplanned, its full of suprises. – Erma Bombeck
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one Im taking with me when I go. – Erma Bombeck
I hate organized religion. I think you have to love thy neighbor as thyself. I think you have to pick your own God and be true to him. I always say him rather than her. Maybe its because of my generation, but I dont like the idea of a female God. I see God as a benevolent male. – Julia Child