Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. – Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. – Mark Twain
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. – Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. – Mark Twain