I have no idea what Im going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. – Don Rickles
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Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. – Don Rickles
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Sometimes, comics will make the observation that its not jokes that are funny, its characters that are funny. And isnt that true! Thats why I always kill jokes. Im terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I cant get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. – David Mitchell
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