Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. – Andy Rooney
The Super Bowl isnt for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account. – Andy Rooney
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. – Andy Rooney
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you cant eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as progress, doesnt spread. – Andy Rooney