Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists. – Heywood Hale Broun

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The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975

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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. – Huxtable Pippey

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