I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. – Russell Baker
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker
You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when theres a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. – Russell Baker
Anything that isnt opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesnt matter. – Russell Baker