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Quotes by

Russell Baker

Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories — those that dont work, those that break down and those that get lost. – Russell Baker

In America nothing dies easier than tradition. – Russell Baker

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic. – Russell Baker

The worst thing about the miracle of modern communications is the Pavlovian pressure it places upon everyone to communicate whenever a bell rings. – Russell Baker

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker

I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. – Russell Baker

You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when theres a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. – Russell Baker

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories those that dont work, those that break down and those that get lost. – Russell Baker

Reporters thrive on the worlds misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. – Russell Baker

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through OHare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. – Russell Baker

Dont try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. – Russell Baker

A day spent praising the earth and lamenting mans pollutionist history makes you feel like a superior, sensitive soul. – Russell Baker

Roosevelts declaration that Americans had nothing to fear but fear itself was a glorious piece of inspirational rhetoric and just as gloriously wrong. – Russell Baker

Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didnt know. – Russell Baker

Anything that isnt opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesnt matter. – Russell Baker

There is a growing literature about the multitude of journalisms problems, but most of it is concerned with the editorial side of the business, possibly because most people competent to write about journalism are not comfortable writing about finance. – Russell Baker

The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs. – Russell Baker

Listen once in a while. Its amazing what you can hear. – Russell Baker

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to ones beloved. – Russell Baker

Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. – Russell Baker