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Im not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, Ill b

Im not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, Ill be funny in real life. Its the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. – Jonathan Safran Foer

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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. – David Lee Roth

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Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering. – Marilyn vos Savant

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I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women. – Julie Walters

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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel Brooks

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It is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as a sum of two like powers. I have a truly marvelous demonstration of this proposition which this margin is too narrow to contain. – Pierre de Fermat

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