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The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bo

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. – Chi Chi Rodriguez

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If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head. – Harry Vardon

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I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. – G.K. Chesterton

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My handicap? Woods and irons. – Chris Codiroli

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If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. – Paul Gallico

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