It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. – Gertrude Stein
Mmmm… the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. Its a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, You had to be there. – Jack Dee
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend somebody its probably not a joke. Its probably an observation thats not funny. Its gotta offend somebody somewhere. – Jeff Ross
Tasmanian history is a study of human isolation unprecedented except in science fiction – namely, complete isolation from other humans for 10,000 years. – Jared Diamond
In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business Poetry. – Dave Barry
